5 Pillars to Love

5 Pillars to Love

Evolutionary biologists and psychologists who 
study human mating strategies have found that women everywhere generally agree on the important characteristics they want in their men. Here are the top five things women say they want from men:

1. Love
A woman wants to be re-assured, 
every day, that she is d and adored, and she needs his words 
and intimacy as proof. The list of favourite things a woman wants to hear includes, "I you," said in as many ways as 
possible, such as "You're beautiful," "You cooked a wonderful 
meal," "You did that well," or an unexpected phone call to say 
he's thinking of her. Showing appreciation of anything a woman does in the home is also decoded as an expression of , and implies a man will share his resources with her. 
In divorce cases, women regularly say that men take them for 
granted and never show appreciation of their efforts in the home. This is because a man feels that his efforts of being the 
main bread-winner (as most men still are), fixing broken things 
around the home, solving problems, or changing lightbulbs are 
sufficient proof of his appreciation and .

The man's brain is organised to measure his self-worth and contribution by what he does or achieves, not by what he says or feels.

Women's brains are better organised for language skills than men's and how words are a form of foreplay for women. Men need to understand that women need to hear actual words of appreciation and to believe it is true, and to hear them daily. Remembering important dates like birthdays and anniversaries also rates highly on a woman's measurement of a man's . Bringing gifts, however small, tells a woman a man s her - and the simpler, the better: The point is that a man's actions are the key, not the actual gift. Most men, however, feel that a gift must be large or expensive, because that is how they measure the worth of gifts.

2. Faithfulness
Fidelity offers the promise that a man will continue to share his resources with a woman, but a woman's definition of infidelity is very different from a man's. A man is concerned that she might have sex with another man, which could result in him investing his time in raising another man's child. A woman's chief concern is about the emotional connection between her man and his fling.

But for men, it's easy. Men can compartmentalise lust and in the brain, so that sex is just sex and is . The bottom line for women is that sex equals , which equals redirection of his resources. If a man says he'll be faithful, a woman feels that he won't share his resources with someone else.

3. Kindness
According to Dr. Buss's research, kindness ranks third most 
desirable by women in thirty-two cultures, because it also symbolises commitment. Reproductive resource is the key item a woman can offer, so she is discriminating about whom she will give it to, and , sincerity, generosity, and kindness are her prerequisites. Ancestral women preferred generous men and avoided tightfisted men because the generous ones would provide resources and protection for her and her offspring, giving them a greater chance of their survival.

Women who have their own resources, status, and power 
still go for men with their own resources. Buss found that 
almost all women, regardless of culture, showed a strong preference for financially successful men and that financially 
successful women showed an even stronger preference for 
these men because they want a man who is stronger than they 
are.

4. Commitment
A man who promises commitment pledges he will continue to 
provide resources. Women everywhere accuse men of being 
commitment phoebes and escapees. When you consider 
what commitment means from an ancestral woman's view-point, it makes perfect sense. A sexual liaison for her would 
involve a commitment for ten to fifteen years to carry and raise a child to self-sufficiency.

For a man, however, the same 
encounter would cost only a small amount of time-maybe just a few minutes-and then he'd be off to his next venture. 
Because a man is wired to spread his genes as often and widely as possible, many men fear commitment to one woman 
and dread the idea of eternal monogamy, and most men 
understand that commitment means sharing their resources.

"I want him to show commitment" is the cry of women 
everywhere. It takes nine months for a woman to bear a child 
and at least another five years to raise the child to a minimum 
level of self-sufficiency for basic survival.

To most women, marriage is still seen as the ultimate indication a man can give that he intends to stick around. Being the child-bearer, a woman makes a total commitment to the creation and nurturing of the next generation, and she wants a male who will commit to the same. This is why trust is such a critical factor to women in a relationship.

5. Education and intelligence
A man with higher education and intelligence is seen as being 
more capable of acquiring resources. Higher education means 
he's likely to hold more senior positions in the workplace and 
therefore have more power, status, and resources. Higher intelligence promises the potential for the same things.

Although women today are still hardwired to be attracted to 
men who are financially secure, they also strive for financial 
security for themselves. In past generations, this was not an 
issue, because marriage meant forever and the man would 
always be there to provide for the woman and her children. 
And because past generations had large families, they also had 
the benefit of a large support network.

Today, there is no guarantee that a man will be there for a woman tomorrow. This is not to say that every woman wants to marry a millionaire, but she definitely doesn't want a man who gambles, takes unnecessary risks with money. Past generations of women had little choice but to tolerate financial recklessness and "stand by their man," but twenty-first century women see this behaviour as irresponsible and read it as a sign that he doesn't or respect them.

It pays to be good and It is more blessed to give than to recieve