Five Ways to Make New Friends

Five Ways to Make New Friends

 
“All well and good, Linda,” you might be thinking, “but just how do you bring people into your life when, as the experts point out, your opportunities for social interactions are shrinking?”
 
Answer: Just cast your net—the wider the better. Here’s how I found new . And I should mention that I’m actually pretty shy, not a natural extrovert, so you can’t use that as an excuse.

1. Take classes. I am the type who looovvvees school. Still, continuing education classes aren’t quite “school” for those who didn’t like the classroom setting growing up. Mostly you sit around with other adults learning something interesting. You don’t have to do homework unless you want to. (But that’s the great thing: You’ll probably want to).
 
If there are any colleges or university extensions near you, do a Google search to see what’s on offer. Community centers, Ys and religious institutions also frequently host discussion groups and courses. Another place with new hip possibilities, and don’t laugh: Weight Watchers meetings. In person. (Yes, those still happen.) Or spend a day with Habitat for Humanity or another volunteer organization. You’ll be exchanging phone numbers by cocktail hour.
 
2. Join Facebook and LinkedIn. I know: You already did. But are you using them to the max? Facebook is where you can find from high school and college with whom you’ve lost touch. Then, though comments, you meet their , whom you soon find yourself conversing. I have become , and now met in real life, the mother of a young woman about my daughter's age whom I met through work and who "friended" me on Facebook.

Twitter is a wonderful place to discover people you’d never meet otherwise (and sometimes probably will never see face-to-face because they live in, like, New Zealand).
 
A great thing that has come out of all these online networks is what Twitter folks call the "Tweet Up," but more generally could be simply dubbed a "get-together." People who live nearby but have so far only met online plan a get-together for coffee or a drink. Many times you’ll find yourself trying to pin many new faces to names. Other times it’s just you and one other person grabbing a cup of coffee. Once you’re face-to-face with an online friend, I’ve found, if you take a shine to each other, you’ll start conversing through email and even take it to the phone. If not too much travel is involved, you’ll find yourself seeing your new regularly.
 
What can be really fun is literally going the extra mile. A whole bunch of people I know online who live in the Southwest are converging on Phoenix next Saturday .… just because. Oh, and when you get social, you’ll also get to know -of-friends, which is more than a Facebook privacy setting. It’s in-real-life people added to your non-virtual social life.

3. Work out at the gym. True, it’s not easy having a conversation while you’re puffing away on the treadmill or swinging those kettle balls. But what I've found is that there are certain people you see time after time, especially if you take classes. First you start smiling at each other, then you say hi. Finally you have a real conversation in the locker room. Next thing you know, you’re grabbing a post-workout coffee with your new gym buddy.
 
4. Rediscover old . Not just online, either. There’s a woman who lives nearby whom I have kinda-sorta known for years. We were both active in our kids’ PTA and spent time together back then. But you know how things go. The kids grew up, and our contacts dwindled to saying “hi” at the supermarket.

Last summer we ran into each other on the block, and she suggested, totally impromptu, that I come and hang in her backyard. We sat around for hours — first bonding over an intense discussion of cleaning products. From there we went on to our kids, our husbands, Broadway shows and, finally, our hopes and dreams. We simply and magically clicked.  
 
Not too long ago I also connected with a woman I knew in college but we had totally lost touch. While talking at a party we discovered we’ve lived almost parallel lives since graduation. We know the same people, live close by, have children the same age. We even have the same make and model piano! To my good fortune, this re-acquaintance has become a good friend.
 
I remember having the thought when I was about 18 that as you got older, the people you met would be more interesting because they'd have so many more stories (i.e., experiences) to share. This indeed has proved true. Also, now that we're more comfortable in our own skins and past the age when we feel the need to impress, bonding comes more naturally. We might have more baggage, but it's easier to unpack.

5. Participate in Meet Ups. Just Google it. All over the world professional groups schedule meetings for casual conversation and networking. Sometimes a member gives a presentation; other times it's just drinks. Either way, discard your cloak-of-shyness and get out there. I know people who have garnered clients and secured job interviews at these kinds of gatherings. I recently found someone who told me that she'd look into some little quirky problems I'm having with my website — for free. Also Google "BNI" (Business Networking International) to find a nearby group (which you'll have to apply to join) or "Professional Networks."

When you dreams dream big as big as the occean