Is silence good or harmful in relationships

[ Go to bottom | Go to latest post | Subscribe to this topic | Latest posts first ]

36, male

BRONZE

Is silence good or harmful in relationships

from kingjohn on 09/22/2013 06:01 PM

DEAFENING SILENCE. And not just silence for a minute or two- but silence that stretches far beyond those moments in which you take a breath and/or swallow your bite of food and then continue your conversation.

So how does this bode for my relationship? Does the fact that we sit in relative silence quite often- mean that our relationship/marriage is in the TOILET?! Does it mean that we’ve run out of things to say to one another? And if we have run out of things to say to one another- does that effectively spell the end of our relationship? Does this mean we are doomed to become one of those couples who simply STOP TALKING TO EACH OTHER- and the kind you see in a diner sitting across from one another and eating a meal without uttering a single word- and you think- I FEEL SO BAD FOR THESE TWO?!

Before you start writing us off- and taking bets on who will get to keep the house (FYI- my husband says he will be buried in our house) here are my thoughts on the all-important is silence golden or deadly to your relationship?

#1 It is Okay to Run out of material. When you get to a point in your relationship/marriage where conversation is not forced and you simply feel comfortable enjoying the ability to be together in the same space and enjoying eachother’s quiet energy, that is a GOOD THING.

#2 Women often feel like they need to chatter and fill space. Don’t be THAT PERSON. Don’t force conversations. Don’t be afraid of silence- don’t just fill space. It is important to give each other time and space and to be OKAY with the silence. In fact- practice healthy silence- for example when you are in the car- – let music be a shared *silent* experience.

#3 Remember there is good and bad silence. Being in the same room on your devices– can be loud ignoring silence whereas good silence can be simply being in the moment in nature, on the couch watching TV or just being together
It is sometimes very inimical to relationships because at times the fellow feels neglected or not cared for when the partner keeps so silent about issues arising in the relationship. So it is always good for a mutual resolution of conflicts and make sure everyone expresses their views and their views respected .

When you dreams dream big as big as the occean