Theory of Being Wanted and being Needed

Theory of Being Wanted and being Needed

 According to Psychologist Abraham Maslow (1943, 1954) introduced the idea that there are five needs everyone tries to fulfill. They are known as Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

The first two needs are people’s most basic needs…the need for survival:

1) Physiological (i.e., breath, food, water, sleep)

2) Safety (i.e., security, shelter, employment).

The next two are social needs that deal with interactions with others:

3) Love/Belonging (i.e., , family, hip, intimacy)

4) Esteem (i.e., self-esteem, respect, mastery, recognition)

The last need is related to one’s purpose and legacy in life:

5) Self Actualization (i.e., realizing the full potential of one’s purpose)

Maslow’s theory says that after you satisfy one need (e.g., #2 need for security and shelter), you move on to fulfill the next need (e.g., #3 need for and intimacy). Some argue, however, that you don’t have to strictly follow the sequential order Maslow outlined. One study showed that someone fulfilled needs #3 and #5 without fulfilling #2 (Tay & Deiner, 2011).

Being needed vs. being wanted depends on how you satisfy your #3 need for , family, hip, and intimacy.

It’s Better to Be Needed If…

If for you, the old proverb rings true: it’s better to give than to receive; if you thrive on helping someone fulfill their needs; if you prefer to use your resources (time, financial, material, informational, and emotional) to help other people…then it’s better for you to be needed.

It’s Better to Be Wanted If…

If you are drawn to someone who doesn’t need you or your resources to satisfy their needs; if you have a strong desire to be d, cared for, to feel a since of belonging and acceptance with someone who doesn’t have ulterior motives…then it’s better for you to be wanted.

Being wanted suggests you have a strong need to be accepted for who you are…not for what you have or what you can provide. For you, there is something freeing about being able to be accepted…flaws, weaknesses, insecurities and all…without conditions. You long for a safe place where you don’t have to be who the world sees you as. You can just ‘be’…and be accepted

The only way evil  people prevail is when the good people do nothing