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12 Red Flags That Could Spell Doom For Your Relationship

It's only natural that you're overcome with lovey-dovey feelings when in a new relationship. But as time goes on, little red flags may start to rear their ugly heads as you start questioning whether or not this person is really right for you.

Trust us, everyone has doubts at some point -- but some doubts are more serious than others. So we turned to the experts to find out which warning signs may actually spell doom for your relationship.

1. One person has all the power.

Relationships are about balance, so if you find yourself in an unbalanced partnership where you feel belittled, worthless or not heard, it's time to leave. "If one person dictates everything, and the other has to choose between being a doormat or taking the highway, the highway is the better choice," says marriage and family therapist Virginia Gilbert, who specializes in high-conflict divorce.

2. The relationship is seriously lacking fireworks.

"Lack of a sexual life can be a big source of frustration for one or both of the partners," says sex therapist Sari Cooper, who tells The Huffington Post that she sees this problem all the time with her clients seeking help.

The truth is that sex matters, and as time goes on, a lack of sex can lead to much bigger problems. As Dr. Phyllis Goldberg, a marriage and family therapist, explains, "The longer a couple goes without being intimate, the more ambivalence they will feel. It's like a vicious cycle, and this only increases the lack of trust, the awkwardness and the subsequent distancing."

3. You're not cheating, but your partner thinks you are.

If your partner is constantly checking your text messages, "accidentally" logging into your email and accusing you of cheating when you're not, it's a sign that they have trust issues.

"If you don't trust your partner, that's a problem," says author and relationship expert Rachel Kramer Bussel. "It's natural to be curious -- who isn't? -- but taking that curiosity beyond the bounds of what your partner would be comfortable with crosses a line that could be dangerous for your relationship, not to mention your mental health."

4. You like your partner, but hate their friends.

If you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone, it's important to also like their friends. If you can't manage to do that, you're only setting yourself up for battles later on. "We know that couples who have parents, in-laws, and friends who support them as a couple are much more likely to go the distance," W. Bradford Wilcox, the director of the National Marriage Project, told the Huffington Post.

Other experts agree. "If socializing continues to be a point of contention, think long and hard about whether you can accept your differences, because neither of you is likely to change," explains Gilbert.

5. Even worse, you don't get along with each other's families.

If your family is not on board with your partner, there may be a good reason for it. "Friends and family often have a more objective view of your partner than you do," said Wilcox. In other words, your family may be seeing red flags that you're too blinded by love to pick up on.

On the flip side, if you don't get along with your partner's family, it's a long and painful road ahead. "The truth is that the pressures a person's family or your family might put on a relationship can be huge," says life and relationship coach Bonnie Olson. "These people are going to interact with you forever and if you get a major 'ick' feeling about them, then do a reality check to determine if you can live with these individuals in your life."

6. You feel like you're in a dictatorship, not a relationship.

If you find yourself living someone else's life -- hanging out with their friends, listening to their music, and only doing what they want want to do -- it's time to take a stand. "Start taking ground" says Deverich. "You decide where you will go to dinner, what color to paint the dining room or what car you will buy ... if they resist, push back. Most controllers don't want to lose you and are willing to change."

That said, if your partner doesn't change, Deverich says it may be a sign they're an abuser and you need to "get out!"

7. You don't spend much time together, and you're OK with that.

You should want to spend time with your S.O., even if it means just going to the grocery store together. "If that's not happening, something is very wrong," says author and life coach Honoree Corder. "Unless you look forward to spending time together no matter what you're doing (or even if you're doing nothing), you're not partnered up right."

In fact, studies have shown that making date-night a priority is key to successful relationships.

8. You can never just be together without an activity or distraction.

A relationship needs to stand on its own two feet. If you and your partner can't just "be together" without help -- such as alcohol, couples therapy, TV, fancy dinners or even other people -- there's a bigger problem afoot.

"If your second home is in your therapist's office, and even when you leave, you can't stop talking about your issues, it may be a sign that you're more in love with the idea of a relationship than with your partner," says Gilbert.

9. You seriously disagree on major life choices.

The truth is most people don't change, so if you entered into the relationship knowing your S.O. doesn't want kids and you want several, don't resent him or her five years later when the answer is the same. If you don't see eye-to-eye on major life decisions now, you'll end up with major life problems later, says Cooper, explaining that disagreements on monogamy, religion and family are major red flags that pop up over and over again with her clients.

10. Your partner is physically violent.

We shouldn't have to say it, but we will: violence is a major red flag and should not be tolerated. "Get out right now, do not look back," says marriage and family therapist Amanda Deverich. "Safety first and hitting must stop."

11. Communication is seriously lacking in the relationship.

We hear it time and again: communication is the key to a successful relationship. So it's only logical that poor communication -- or lack of communication -- is the executioner.

"One of the most common roadblocks couples face occurs when they avoid confrontation and sweep their differences under the proverbial rug again and again," says Cooper. "I find either couples fight unfairly in a bullying or threatening manner or they avoid conflict at all costs."

12. You bicker about the small things, while the bigger problems go undiscussed.

Whether it's picking a restaurant, a movie, or deciding where to spend the holidays, if everything ends in a fight, your relationship is in trouble.

"Bickering and fighting can be a sign of a deeper, more significant issue," says Corder. "Sometimes what you really want to say is, 'I'm done'. If that's the case, take a hard look at saying that, instead of continuing down the path you're on."

huffingtonpost.com

When you dreams dream big as big as the occean

How To Avoid Toxic Relationships

The term toxic (synonymous with deadly, poisonous, lethal) is used lot when we talk about people whose presence in our life is not positive. It seems that as a society we are increasingly aware of negativity in our lives and want to release it.

The good news is that any relationship that does not make us feel good nor contributes to our wellbeing does not have to be tolerated. We can exercise our rights to limit these relationships or eradicate them altogether.

In our increasingly busy culture, life is stressful enough. We have little patience for additional drama or stress brought on by taxing relationships with our friends and relatives. This stress is felt more than it is seen, heard or discussed. And it is not healthy for our minds or bodies.

It is your life. It is your energy. It is your precious time. If a relationship is not serving you, not supporting you and not elevating you towards your highest self, you are completely entitled to limit the extent that you are exposed to it. It does not mean that you do not care about the person involved or will stop caring them when you dynamic and closeness changes.
In other words, you can love or care for someone but you don't have to hang out with him or her.

Here are five ways to disconnect with love:

1. Say no. When you are invited to something where the toxic person is involved and you don't want to go, to politely decline. A simple, "thank you, but I cannot make it" will suffice.

2. Think loving and compassionate thoughts towards the person in question. Hating, resenting or being angry will only hurt you. Perhaps the toxic person is unkind or rude because they are afraid, lost, feeling insecure? Our external condition and behavior is always an expression of our internal condition.

3. Talk to them about needing some space in a loving way. Tell the person that you value them and you just need a little break for your own reasons. Its up to you how much you want to share. If you don't want to get into it, this is explanation enough.

4. Speak kindly of them to others. Disconnecting with love is not cutting someone out of your life and then talking trash behind his or her back. If the person in questions arises as a subject in conversation you can change topic or say something short, honest and kind, "yes, I have not seen her in a while... I hope she is doing well."

5. Remember, you come first. No one will treat you with love or respect unless you do so first for yourself. Releasing non-supportive relationships are one of the first ways to do this!

Then relax, breathe and enjoy being in control of your life and your environment. Do not waste a second feeling guilty about putting someone very important first. You.

When you dreams dream big as big as the occean

The Black Shakespeare

From the most remote times there has existed in Russia people of African descent. By far the most famous of all the Blacks in Russian history, however, was Alexander Sergeievich Pushkin–patriarch of Russian literature. Born in Moscow on May 26, 1799, Pushkin was descended on his mother's side from Major-General Ibrahim Petrovich Hannibal–an Ethiopian prince who became a favorite of Tsar Peter I (1682-1725). Hannibal impressed Czar Peter "so well that he became a confidant and favorite, was revered at the court, and began the aristocratic Pushkin lineage. In an unfinished work, The Negro of Peter the Great, Alexander Pushkin pays homage to his illustrious ancestor

Pushkin has been positively identified as the father of Russian literature, and composed in the Russian language at a time when most Russian intellectuals were writing in French. Of Pushkin, Feodor Dostoevsky wrote that, "No Russian writer was ever so intimately at one with the Russian people as Pushkin." Maxim Gorky wrote that, "Pushkin is the greatest master in the world. Pushkin, in our country, is the beginning of all beginnings. He most beautifully expressed the spirit of our people." According to N.A. Dobrolyubuv, "Pushkin is of immense importance not only in the history of Russian literature, but also in the history of Russian enlightenment. He was the first to teach the Russian public to read." I. Turgeniev wrote that "Pushkin alone had to perform two tasks which took whole centuries and more to accomplish in other countries, namely to establish a language and to create a literature." Czar Nicholas I, who hated and feared Pushkin, referred to him as "the most intelligent man in Russia."

Pushkin died prematurely, defending his honor in a duel, in January 1837. At the time of his death, Pushkin was working on a novel on the life of his beloved ancestor, Ibrahim Hannibal–The Negro of Peter the Great. Among Pushkin's most significant works translated into English are: Eugene Onegin, The Ode to Liberty, The Captain's Daughter and Boris Godunof.

A bronze statue of Pushkin was erected in Moscow's Red Square. Today, his name is loftily born by twenty museums. African-American scholar Allison Blakely has written that, "Pushkin was truly the Russian counterpoint to Shakespeare."

When you dreams dream big as big as the occean

5 Women Who Changed the World

A very wise person stated, "Behind every successful man, there's a woman." But, an even wiser thought will acknowledge that behind a ever-evolving world, there are several women. MensXP takes a look at some of these women who make dynamite seem weak
!1. Joan Of Arc

A patron saint of France and a revolutionary, Joan Of Arc is a heroic figure from our history. Born as a peasant girl, she claimed to receive spiritual intervention at a very early age and soon after she led the French to several victories in the Hundred Years' War in her teens! Unfortunately fate had a different tale carved for her when she was captured and given away to Englishmen for money. The pro-English Bishop of Beauvais found her guilty on the charges of "insubordination and heterodoxy" and was burned at the stake for being a heretic when she was only 19 years old!

2. Mother Teresa

A Nobel Peace Prize winner, a philanthropist, and arguably the one sole person to have brought about a change in the world as of today, Mother Teresa was a heaven-sent being for mankind. A Roman Catholic nun, Mother Teresa dedicated her whole life in serving the betterment of the poor and going to extreme lengths to eradicate poverty. So much so that she ended up establishing charitable trusts in more than 133 countries! Her motto of "Wholehearted and Free service to the poorest of the poor" surely did its trick as she proved to be the most inspirational being of the 20th century!

3. Susan Anthony

The most prominent woman of the American Civil Rights movement, Susan Anthony rewrote history with her work for humanitarianism and human rights. To put things in place, she was the sole person to raise her voice for women's right to vote at the election, bringing the power of authority of women in accordance to the men. She extensively toured the country delivering speeches to huge masses and spreading the word of gender-equality, fighting for equal rights, social and political. Unfortunately she did not live long enough to see it through as the law was passed in 1920, 14 years after her death.

4. Harriet Beecher Stowe

An abolitionist and an author, Harriet Beecher Stowe fought against the slavery of the African-Americans that was a trend in the 18t century. Her writings revolved around the hardships and ill-treatments that she witnessed first-hand all across the United States. Harriet's work and exploits influenced millions and fuelled the fire that eventually helped in abolishing slavery all across United States and United Kingdom!

5. Marie Curie

A scientist and a chemist, Marie Curie is a household name when it comes to science, and even more so radioactivity. Marie Curie established herself in the field that was solely dominated by men, and paved way for new techniques in the study of radioactivity. It doesn't end there, for she has been the first in many roles; She was the first ever woman to win the Nobel Prize for her contribution to science and to be the first ever female professor at the University Of Paris. Her valuable contribution in the field of science, and yet unfortunately so she ended up dying while doing what she d the most while working on radioactivity and eventually dying due to radiation.

When you dreams dream big as big as the occean

Love and Relationship Quotes

instead of swearing to go off and pack for the Himalayas, I look to the greats who formulated and perfected the Pickup arts, for wisdom and inspiration. Over the years, I have collected their choicest 'words of wisdom' – lines powerful enough to result in an in instant epiphany. I am sure they will help you as much as they helped me:

Respect is to women what looks are to men. A woman dating a man without respect is like a man dating a borderline ugly woman.

Brian Canigla

Never try to keep someone who does not want to keep you.

Doc Love

As a rule when men talk to someone about a problem, they are looking for answers; women in general are different. They will talk to you about a problem to express how they feel. They usually aren't looking for answers; they just want to talk about it to straighten things out in their own minds. Unless she asks for advice, don't offer it. Just listen, and keep the conversation going. If she wants advice she will ask for it.

Gary Caine

Improve on what you can (health, fitness, style) and embrace the things you cannot change (height, race, etc) Insecurity is an ugly thing, so confront the roots of your warped self image and banish this negativity from your mind. No excuses, dude! Only you can make yourself worthy of the best things in life!

Senor Fingers

When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.

Frederick Ryder

Nobody is teaching boys how to be men, nobody is teaching them how to be in tune with their masculine nature. Mothers, try as they might, cannot do so adequately, because they don't know HOW to teach masculine nature, because their nature is feminine. With more boys being taught how to by their mothers, they pick up the feminine nature.

'Metal Fortress'

Never ask a female friend to hook you up with one of her . To a woman that's pathetic. It implies that you are desperate, insecure and dependent. The key is not to ask for it, let her do it.

John Fate

Not approaching a girl actually feels worse than getting rejected

Don Joey

Women know if they'll sleep with you within 5 minutes of meeting you.

Dr. Dennis W. Neder

Just like we want our women to be soft, beautiful, sexy, confident, etc., they want men to be strong, masculine, secure, and into himself. Wear the finest. Smell great, not good. Do better than the next man. Look better than the next man!

Marc

Attraction is an emotional and physical RESPONSE... and you can't "convince" a woman to feel it with logic, gifts, and NICENESS.

David DeAngelo

The thing to know is that if you give the dog a treat every single time he comes when you call, he'll start to get lazy. He'll figure, "Eh, why should I hurry? I can get over there in my own good time, and take the treat." If you constantly shower a woman with gifts and attention, you run the risk of the same thing happening.

Ron Loui

The greatest regrets in our lives are the risks we did not take. If you think something will make you , go for it. Remember that you pass this way only once!

Don Juan

You weren't BORN shy. Shyness is not an inherited trait. It's something that is LEARNED. It's a skill that is DEVELOPED over time. In short: Shyness is UNNATURAL!

Joseph Matthews

It's easier to start from scratch with new women than it is to fix up old problems with the women you're pursuing now.

'Mystery'

When you dreams dream big as big as the occean

Qualities of Entreprenuers

What does it take to create and build a company? This is usually the first question that most people get to ask before starting up a business. Getting the most factual answers and applying same go a long way in determining the success of the business. I once asked this question in a meeting of successful entrepreneurs. What emerged from that conversation was a set of behaviors that all great entrepreneurs have in common:

 1. Believe If athletes, artists, musicians, and entrepreneurs actually examined the success rate of people in their field, they would talk themselves out of even trying. They would take the path of least resistance. They would go out and get a "real" job. Belief provides the motivation to attempt things that, if you were entirely rational about them, you would never attempt. With belief, the "odds of success" become irrelevant. You continue to push forward until you achieve your dreams.

 2. Empathize Believing in yourself and what you're doing has a downside: It can make you blind to what other people believe and why they believe it. As a result, you become convinced that everybody sees the world the unique way that you see it. Great entrepreneurs have the uncanny ability to see the world from the perspective of their customers. Steve Jobs was a case in point. He certainly believed in Apple's products, but he presented them as something that customers could believe in.

 3. Observe Great entrepreneurs are observers of human nature and human behavior. They're profoundly curious about the patterns that guide people's lives and the activities that bring them pleasure and (especially) pain. Therefore, if you want to create a product or service that people will , keep your eyes and ears open. When you hear somebody curse or swear because an existing product or service sucks, that's where there's money to be made.

4. Obsess Great entrepreneurs are fanatical about improving their products and services. They never rest on their laurels or think merely in terms of incremental improvement. They'll spend extraordinary time and effort simply to get things right. Thus, if you want to be successful as an entrepreneur, you must pay attention to every element, every process, and every stage of your product or service. There must be no detail so small that it escapes your notice.

 5. Win Do I need to say more? They win in their minds they believe that everything is possible, they aare enthusisatic about their goal

When you dreams dream big as big as the occean

Never Ask Single people These Questions

:
1. "When are you getting married?" In my recent social media survey, this was the NUMBER ONE QUESTION that baffled (and irritated) most singles. If they knew when they were getting married they would tell you (unless they were planning to elope). Many of us are still waiting to be found (ladies) or are still trying to determine who will be "The One" (men). So the answer to this question most times will be, "I have NO idea!"

2. "You can't find anyone yet? Maybe it's because your standards are too high." Well, if we take just anyone who comes along, are we using wisdom? Most singles have some standards that they are sticking with in deciding who they will marry. Many of us are pursuing our purpose and will need someone to walk with us and support us as we achieve our goals. As long as the "standards list" doesn't contain anything that is above what we will be willing to offer our desired future mate, our "high" standards are just fine.

3. "You need to hurry up, you aren't getting any younger." Getting married is not 100% up to either party. The single person must first meet someone who has expressed an interest, and then there is a period of getting to know him or her. Next, a decision has to be made on whether the relationship or hip should advance to the next level. If a woman is hearing this statement and is already anxious about having children, it adds unwanted pressure to her situation. Speeding up the process of meeting, dating/courting and engagement has not worked for many who tried it. (Of course there are exceptions.) Also, some singles are not concerned with marrying at a young age, as they may prefer to establish themselves first. So our response to this statement is: The right situation will happen when the time is right.

"."

4. "Really? Never married? Okay, so what's wrong with you?" This comment may cause the single person to become very sarcastic, so if you ask this question be prepared for the answer you will receive. Many are not married simply because no-one asked! Some were not ready for marriage before, so they were not focused on getting married in the past. As I mentioned earlier, they may be focusing on career/education or raising children as a single parent and prefer to wait before entering into a marital commitment. Not being married by a certain age does not always mean that something is wrong with them.

5. "Don't get married!" The reflex response will be "Why not?" with a bit of an attitude. Married folks, who are having less than stellar marital experiences, may offer this advice. Others who offer this advice may have never seen a successful marriage so they assume that the single person will be spared some heartache if they follow their advice. While it is true that around 50% of marriages end in divorce, if the single person truly desires marriage and is diligent in preparing for it, then there is no reason to discourage them from marriage. They may prepare by participating in pre-marital counseling with their future spouse, by getting out of debt (or by preparing a plan to get out of debt), by practicing healthy eating habits/exercise, and by working on their spiritual lives. Being married has many benefits; some are financial, but many are physical, emotional and spiritual. Here is the bottom line: Many singles WANT to be married! Don't discourage them!

If you are worried about your single and family members, be careful how you present your concerns to them. Instead, consider praying for them and lovingly encourage them. Include them when you plan fun activities with your families or with other married . Invite other single men and women! You never know what can happen!

When you dreams dream big as big as the occean

Best Things to say on a First Date

#1 “Thanks For A Nice Time”

Make sure to thank them for the nice time together, even if you didn’t really have a great time. If it wasn’t a good fit, don’t feel like you have to make a connection at the end of the night. It’s okay to just walk away if you’re not interested, just make sure to be polite about it and wish them well.

#2 "When Can We Do This Again?"

If you want to have a second date, there’s no reason to hide it. Be bold and just tell them straight up that you want to see them again. See what they have to say about it and go from there.

#3 "Where To?"

Some of the best dates are ones that aren't completely planned. Have a set of destinations to choose from and then let your date choose where you'll go.

#4 "Life Is Too Short"

No one wants to walk away from a first date feeling like they’re going to cry themselves to sleep. This is not the time to bring up your sob stories about any area of life. Keep it positive! Remember that! Even if the conversation goes to a bad memory, figure out a way to put a positive spin on it.

#5 "I Hope This A Great First Date"

You need to make sure your date knows that you’re confident. Nothing says “insecure” like someone that’s trying to see how they measure up to past relationships and dates so if you want to know how you're doing on this one, tell them you hope it's going well.

#6 "I Really Like You"

Remember when you were a kid and when you liked someone you would tell them? It's the same thing here. No one likes mind games so if you really like your date, let them know.

#7 "Shall We Dance?"

If you’re at a place where dancing is appropriate, you should try it out. It might seem a little silly but being spontaneous is worth it!

#8 “Let Me Get That For You”

If you’re a guy, you should not be making your date open the door or pay for the date. It may seem a little old-fashioned but she will really appreciate it.

#9 "You're So Interesting"

Just like it’s bad to do all the talking, it’s bad to not listen to what is being said. Pay attention to what they’re saying and have something to say in response.

#10 "Do You Go To School?"

This is a safe, simple question to ask during a date. Since college age now lasts from late teens until the grave, they will probably be able to tell you about the school they attend, have attended or wish to attend.

#11 “Do You Like To Cook?”

This is just a backwards way of figuring out where you’d go on your next date. If they to cook, then they may end up wanting to cook for you on one of your future dates. If they don’t, you may be able to surprise them by cooking for them or just finding out their favorite restaurant and food.

When you dreams dream big as big as the occean

5 Laws Against slaves in 1681- 1683

• Slaves may not leave their masters’ houses without permission.

• Slaves may not own weapons.

• Slaves may not gather in groups larger than four.

• White people and free black people may not entertain slaves in their homes.

• White people and free black people may not sell liquor to slaves

When you dreams dream big as big as the occean

How To Make Her to Fall In Love

#2 Mr. Mature

Display your maturity to your girl by showing her how serious you are with your career, or how well you handle your finances. Women a confident and clever man.

#3 Show Faith

Women want to feel secure with their man, and once this trust and your faithfulness has been assured, your relationship with one another will reach new heights.

#4 Chill Pill

Don't sweat the small stuff! Show her that you have a cool demeanor when dealing with problems and she'll know that she c

#5 Play Doctor

When your girl's not feeling her best, show her you care by looking after her or simply sending a 'Get Well Soon' note. This will reinforce to her that you can also look after her in times of need.

and always rely on you! 

#6 Meet the Parents

Introducing your girl to your parents shows her not only that you're pretty serious about her, but also that you're proud of her. It also gives her a good indication of how you get along with your family, a quality that most women find very appealing.

#7 The Boys

Like with any relationship, absence makes the heart grow fonder! While spending time with your girl is great for your relationship, so too is spending a little time apart just to remind yourselves how much you being together. So why not hang out with the guys every once in a while

#8 Advice Time

While you may not need (or want) your girl's advice all the time, sometimes it's nice to consult her to make her feel appreciated and wanted. Even if it's just about a small matter, girls helping their d ones out.

#9 Let Loose

You don't have to be Mr. Serious all the time! Girls a guy who they can also relax around and laugh with. So be a little silly from time to time and watch her join in on the clowning around.

#10 Nice & Clean

One of the biggest romance killers is when a partner is messy or just plain lazy when it comes to picking up after themselves. So next time you think about leaving your wet towel on the floor, don't! Every woman s a man who tries to be neat!

When you dreams dream big as big as the occean